Where Should I Hide My Wedding Ring?: For Dummies

There it sits, a golden band crowned with a tiny, expensive crystalline form of pure carbon ensconced in a little, velvet treasure chest. This ring represents a portion of your bank account as well as a lifetime of undying love. Now, where do you hide it until working up the guts to actually pop the question?

So Where You Gonna Hide It?

Hiding the wedding ring is the first instance of well-intentioned deception in your married life, so take it seriously! If you remember getting your Harriet the Spy on when sleuthing for Christmas gifts in the tall closets and parents’ rooms of your childhood then you know where not to hide the ring, because even if s/he doesn’t know the ring exists, it will have an invisible “presence” in your home, much like that OTHER ring.

What follows is the experts’ guide to hiding the engagement ring for that special day assembled by a panel of the craftiest husbands.

First off, when it comes to being creative, you need to know what’s been done. Here are some hiding place submissions from The Knot:

There are the unexpected spots:

“The piano.”

“Hid it in the microwave overnight. He told me later that if I did wake up in the middle of the night to microwave something, he’d pretend that it was part of the proposal.”

The Safe Zones:

“He gave it to my roommate to put in her underwear drawer!!!”

“In our firebox with our passports and birth certificates…only he had the key!”

Tucked into His Stuff:

“When he wasn’t home, it was in the ring box, inside a sock, inside an old tennis shoe, inside the old shoe box, on the top shelf in his closet! When he slept, it was under his pillow, and when he watched TV, it was on the couch beside him!”
“He hid the ring in his old backpack, which was shoved in his closet!”

Now, these are all pretty good ideas, but they’re not YOUR ideas, are they? Hiding the ring is like proto-proposing, you have to be unique and debonair in order to win lady-points in this game. Lucky for you, I’m not getting married anytime soon, so here are some original ring-hiding ideas you can have for $free.99:

Novice:

Nothing beats the look of shock when you’re special someone discovers that the surprise of his/ her life has been hiding in plain sight: under coats of paint and hanging in the kitchen! Not only will they never, ever discover it there, but you can set the painting up so that when the ring is removed the image is altered drastically, perhaps to query, “will you marry me?”

Intermediate:

There are fewer places better for hiding than videogame cartridges! Take the Philips to your prized copy of Secret of Mana or Kirby’s Dreamland and open the plastic up to reveal an ingenious hiding spot! If your spouse-to-be is into videogames you can go one of two ways:

1)   Hide the cartridge of his/her favorite game (Legend of Zelda, obvi). Feign distress at the lost game to get a nice panic worked up, only to emerge as the hero with the cartridge. Tear it open, drop to a knee and do the deed. BONUS: if you can get this sound to play when you open it up.

2)   Insist on playing the game, knowing the ring will rattle and shake inside. Offer to help by opening it up and revealing the ring!

Expert:

[Must complete novice and intermediate to unlock]

So you see, keeping the big secret isn’t as hard as it seems. With a full heart and clear mind, you can’t lose.

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